September 1998,
Manchester

This is Richard Branson, top celebrity hot air balloon wrecker, international business tycoon and owner of a chain of grotty porn outlets. Following the success of Virgin Cola, he is currently considering launching Virgin Dubbin.

Richard is in fact only twelve years old, but suffers from a rare disease which makes him appear much more smug. The slightly blurred appearance we observe here is due to the vast clouds of dubbin gas that he constantly emits.