| Whether you've just arrived at this
opulent haven, or are a regular visitor with a niggling query, you're
sure to find satisfaction in our luxury frequently asked questions list. What is dubbin? Where can I buy dubbin? Why devote a website to dubbin? How do you take photos of celebrities holding dubbin? Why do you take photos of celebrities holding dubbin? Have any celebrities ever refused to hold the dubbin? Are you insane? How can I find out when a new celebrity is added? Can anyone submit material for inclusion? Where's my guestbook entry? Have you won any awards? Can I interview you? Can I have a link to my site? What is dubbin? There are those who believe that Dubbin is just a pungent petrochemical wax used for the softening and waterproofing of leather. But those who truly appreciate dubbin know it to be so much more. It has over three uses, as well as being highly seductive, erotic and stimulating. Imagine a thing with many practical applications, then make it sexually arousing: you're probably imagining something like Dubbin. And the only thing like dubbin is dubbin. Where can I buy dubbin? Most mountaineering or fetish shops will sell you dubbin. We at The Dubbinternet are not in any way affiliated with any manufacturer of dubbin, nor do we sell dubbin. If you find yourself utterly bereft of dubbin suppliers, try making your own (see the history of dubbin for details). Why devote a website to dubbin? The word "dubbin" has fascinated me from childhood, ever since a pirate whispered it to me at noon. I became obsessed with uncovering the secret, sordid history of dubbin. Then I went through a phase of trying to get free things from companies by writing them unusual letters. I wrote to the UK manufacturers of dubbin and told them it had saved my life, by preventing my canoe from sinking when I was attacked by a dolphin. They sent me four free cans, and I decided that it would be fun to photograph Jeremy Beadle holding one. He agreed, I penned some dubbin sonnets, and the site was born. How do you take photos of celebrities holding dubbin? First I find a celebrity, usually at a speech they're giving, or a book-signing. Very rarely, I meet them in the street. I approach them with a camera and politely ask them whether I can take their photograph. Then I whip out my can of dubbin and ask them to hold it. If they appear puzzled, I tell them I'm president of Cambridge University Dubbin Society, which generally placates them, bless. Then I write something pithy about them and put them on the celebrity dubbin fans page. Why do you take photos of celebrities holding dubbin? Because they've got fame, and I've got dubbin. Have any celebrities ever refused to hold the dubbin? Yes: in four years, two celebrities have refused. One was so banal as to fail to merit mention. The other was Mikhail Gorbachev. Are you insane? You're the one talking to yourself. How can I find out when a new celebrity is added? Join Dubbinews, The Dubbinternet's email announcement service. It's a very low traffic email list and we'll never send you spam or share your details with anyone, even Michael Caine. Can anyone submit material for inclusion? Yes, to a certain extent. Submissions of text material are welcomed via the guestbook, but are unlikely to be included in any other section. If there are any other celebrity dubbin photographers out there, I would be interested to hear about it, but for reasons of consistency and authenticity, they are unlikely to be included on the site. Where's my guestbook entry? All guestbook submissions are screened by the Dubbinternet editorial team before entering the guestbook. Offensive or fatuous comments are removed or edited, unless they are funny. The vast majority of comments make it to the guestbook unedited within 48 hours. Have you won any awards? Yes, we've won several but don't display them because they don't accord with the design of the site. Web awards are generally vulgar and easy to come by. We prefer visitors to decide for themselves whether they like the site or not. Can I interview you? I do not give interviews to anyone with no vowels in their name, or to anyone with chutney instead of hands. Email me. Can I have a link to my site? Possibly, though it is unlikely. Our link section policy is to feature only sites directly affiliated with The Dubbinternet, and sites exclusively devoted to dubbin, possessing a top level domain name. If you feel that your site meets these requirements, contact us. | 
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