November 1997,
Cambridge

Norman Lamont, another former Chancellor, uses neutral dubbin for adding rigidity, bushiness, shine and an unpleasant odour to his eyebrows. His extreme and debilitating facial podginess is due to the sequestering of large quantities of dubbin in his cheeks. It was this habit that earned him the nickname "Badger".

He resigned from the Treasury after "Black Monday" in 1992, when the price of Black Dubbin soared because of high interest rates. Nowadays, he sits on the Opposition back benches, where no-one can see him scoffing Dubbin with a leather spoon.